Dimensional Showdown of Jumping Destiny (songfic)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwBK31tC5QM (You'll want it.)

Ziranathz was hopping around,
Gatekeeper City like a big playground
When suddenly Nikolai burst from the shade,
and hit that Zira with a borscht grenade
Zira got pissed and cast Power Word: Die,
but didn't expect to be kicked by Shai
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shai Fu,
when Rubicante came out of the blue

And he cast Fire 2 on Shaila quick,
then they got stabbed by that goddamn Nik
but before he could make it back into the Blaze,
Galvan Swiftblade popped out of his grave
And took an AK47 out from under his hat,
and blew Nikolai away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away,
because Jackal in Sleipnir came to save the day

This is the Dimensional Showdown of Jumping Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Dimensional Showdown of Jumping Destiny

Zira took a bite out of the Orbital Frame,
Like playing WoW, only not really as lame
Then Shai came back covered in a tire track,
but then Neoko jumped out and landed on her back
And Nikolai was injured, and trying to get steady,
when Galvan Swiftblade came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped,
Crono Arinborn took him out with his whip

Then he saw a Zira sneaking up from behind,
and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Nikolai stole it and he shot and he missed,
and then Zui deflected it with her fist
Then she jumped in the air and did a somersault,
while Galvan Swiftblade tried to pole vault
on top of Sleipnir, but they both ran out of steam
then they both got hit by an Naomi Beam

This is the Dimensional Showdown of Jumping Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Dimensional Showdown...

Angels sang out, descending from heaven,
down from space, came the Space Lord Reven
Who delivered a kick which could split a tree,
into the balls of Shin Wei Lee
Who fell over on the ground, grabbing his crotch,
as Alkamen changed back into Alex Scott
but Evan Pryde saw through his clever disguise,
and he shot Alex Scott right between his eyes

And then Carl Grey and Captain Sokai
and catgirl #402 Lumina Twilight

And Major Jim, Marshal Erim,
and O'Re'sovar and Sam Winston

Abalon, Silvia,
Ziz, Keona, and Leah

Qillathe, Tristan Cless,
Takamachi Nanoha

Shirley Yeager and Samus Aran,
Anri, Gally, Jacqli, Ralf Derrison -

All came out of nowhere lightning fast,
And they kicked that Reven in his Space Lord ass
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw,
with civilians looking on total awe

And the fight raged on for a century,
many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood in a river of blood:
Lucas Barton in a red Power Glove

This is the Dimensional Showdown of Jumping Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Dimensional Showdown
This is the Dimensional Showdown
This is the Dimensional Showdown
of Jumping Destiny

(that was all canon)